Freddy vs. Jason (Robert Englund, Monica Keena) 1/2
I guess a movie like Freddy vs. Jason is a dream come true for horror buffs. Considering the Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th movies always retained a healthy shelf life at the video store for dark and stormy nights, it's not surprising the two lead villains would eventually be pitted against each other in a gorefest extravaganza. And the wishful thinking for scary feature-lovers need no longer remain a fantasy. The two ghouls from beyond the grave do indeed return to do battle against each other -- in spite of two studios trying to work out how to finagle the character rights from each other for years.
So. Here's what I know heading into the theatre: almost nothing. Though there is a plethora of material out there in the form of sequels and old Fangoria magazines, I never felt compelled to watch the films in these series. After watching Freddy vs. Jason, I'm not entirely convinced I would want to educate myself anyway. Not that the film doesn't do a good job in bringing a novice viewer such as myself up to speed. Even though your typical target market won't need it, the backstory is adequately presented just in case a rookie squeaks through and ends up buying a ticket.
Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund), a scary monster who exists in people's dreams, is on the verge of being forgotten by the people who once told the legends of the terrors he inflicted on Elm Street. Apparently, if he is forgotten he no longer ceases to exist. Or he loses power. Or something like that. If it's been that long since he's had the chance to kill, one wonders how he bides the time when he's not killing. He decides to recruit the hockey-masked Jason Voorhees (Ken Kirzinger), an undead mama's boy who doesn't say much. Freddy, in the guise of Jason's mother, convinces the mute hacker to start terrifying anew. Since the movie opens with Jason killing a naked woman, one has to wonder how he, too, is passing the time. After all, he's an unkillable monster who apparently hasn't killed any people lately. I think maybe he does a lot of walking.
Anyway, there's a lot of heroes and victims in Freddy vs. Jason. There's one of the other members of Destiny's Child, a former Dawson's Creek character, a nerd with a heart of gold who sacrifices himself for the woman who hates him, and a dawdling deputy. Not only do they all have to figure out what's going on, but they actually have to explain the ridiculous premise to the camera. For this, the actors should either be commended or committed. The jury is still out.
Eventually, Freddy gets mad at Jason for stealing the victims he needs to become more powerful, so the two kill some people and then go after each other, first in Freddy's dreamworld, and then in the real world at the camp where Jason attended in his youth. All the kids made fun of Jason, so I guess since he doesn't talk much we're meant to root for Mr. Voorhees, although Freddy's one-liners are meant to make the audience like him more. It doesn't matter since neither is ever likable or creepy for that matter. The real chills come from the stinger chords in the musical score and the unexpected quick reactions. It definitely had lots of "jump out of your seat" moments.
What can I say about this film. I was depressed more than anything else. Why depressed? Well, the theatre we saw it in was practically sold out for an afternoon matinee. Only on the opening night of a heavily awaited blockbuster have I seen that kind of attendance for a movie in Saint John, and frankly that's discouraging. For instance, the other day, I asked the people in my row at work how many had seen either Citizen Kane, Casablanca or the Godfather. Out of 7 people, only 1 had seen any of the 3 (and that person had, in fact, seen all 3). This is symptomatic of a lot of Saint Johners with respect to a lot of excellent, classic, magical films. They don't want to see something worthwhile. And yet Freddy vs. Jason is bringing them in by the bushels. Is the movie terrible? No, not egregiously so. For a horror flick, its production values are fair and it isn't a disaster. But the scariest thing of all is that, if we as consumers don't make an effort to kill off these series once and for all, they're going to keep resurrecting over and over again and few will ever want to see a movie that's actually great. No offence, Freddy, but I don't know if I can process a reality that terrifying.
NOTE: I mentioned the 3 greatest films of all time in this review just to be able to say that I mentioned them in the same space as Freddy vs. Jason. Thank you.
