The Fast and the Furious (Paul Walker, Vin Diesel)
I can't believe I'm saying it, but this movie would have been half-decent if it hadn't tried to take itself so seriously. In summertime movies, you can most certainly go full-blown cornball and never look back... this is okay. But if you are downright silly in one scene, quasi-melodramatic in the next, high-tech in the next, and back to goofy again, you can't expect your audience to keep switching lanes with you.
Buckle up if you're headed to see the Fast and the Furious, it is one bumpy ride, and that's not meant as a compliment. The plot is an overtread mess of cliches and you'll need an airbag to get through the crash test dialogue. I will grant that the direction is fast-paced and frenetic, but every time this movie starts to accelerate, there must have been some Hollywood exec in the back seat who decided to tone it back again.
The film features Paul Walker as an undercover cop who needs to expose a gang of criminals, led by Vin Diesel. They race, they discuss whether Walker can shag Diesel's sister, and they bond when Diesel talks about having lost someone close to him in auto-related incident (cue soft piano music in background -- no, really).
Will Paul "WB" Walker actually turn his friend, the Rock lookalike, in? Will "the robbery" come off without a hitch? Will this film outshine Days of Thunder in the annals of cinema? Only the box office knows for sure.
It's a good thing whenever your car needs an extra boost, you've got a can of nitrous oxide and a laptop nearby. It's a good thing the streets of downtown Los Angeles never have any other cars on them. It's a good thing when the cops spontaneously show up by the dozens, not one of them is able to corner a do-badder. Conversely, it's a good thing undercover cops have homebases that look like they've been chronicled on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. And, all due respect to those who liked it, but it's a good thing that I went to see the Fast and the Furious on a cheap night, or I would have been out of that theatre in ten seconds flat.
