Godzilla: King of the Monsters! (Raymond Burr, Momoko Kochi) 1/2
Can there be a more bizarre series of overgrown monster movies than the Godzilla features that began back in 1956? You got Godzilla vs. Mothra, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, Godzilla vs. Super-Mechagodzilla, King Kong vs. Godzilla, Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster, Godzilla vs. Gigan and Godzilla's Revenge. Among others. Now mind you I haven't seen any of the titles I just listed, but I did happen to see the agonizing 1998 remake, and based on that, I'm guessing Godzilla: King of the Monsters! remains the best in the entire series. Just typing that provides an odd but cool kind of comfort.
Odd because King of the Monsters! is not a great movie -- it's not even a good movie. Cool because, in its distinctly tacky way, it is still entertaining. Now, entertaining can be a tricky thing, and that's why I'm giving this film two and a half stars. There are scenes in Godzilla that make you feel as if you're having a root canal, and others that make you feel as if you're inhaling the laughing gas. It makes for a jarbled, unapologetic mess that nevertheless has moments of greatness.
Believe it or not, the film stars Perry Mason himself, Mr. Raymond Burr as Steve Martin (one wild and cr-razy guy!). Martin is a reporter whose adventures are chronicled by what sounds like the same cheesy narrator from Plan 9 From Outer Space. He is detained at his stopover in Tokyo when he is questioned about some at-sea disappearances of a few ships out on the Pacific Ocean. Survivors describe a mysterious flash of light as the cause, but island natives believe it to be Godzilla, a fabled monster. It is soon discovered that the super-sized destroyer is a result of nuclear tinkering or some such device. It is now up to Takashi Shimura, who plays Dr. Kyohei Yamane, to roll out a counter-weapon that removes oxygen or some such device.
The destruction footage itself is what essentially carries Godzilla past the poorly dubbed speaking parts which try to incorporate some kind of romantic triangle amongst the three principal Japanese characters (Shimura, Akira Takarada, and Momoko Kochi). The acting, dialogue and story don't even really bear mentioning. However, seeing a guy waddle forward in a lizard costume as he tramples model cars and buildings is a genuine hoot and serves as a reminder of how far special effects have progressed in the last fifty years. The movie really suffers when it tries too hard to become a morality tale, particularly in an extended scene when a choir of Japanese children sings a requiem for the millions of fallen citizens, but I suppose that's what fast forward buttons are for (should I ever watch it again). Rrrrrarrrrrrr!
