Austin Powers in Goldmember (Mike Myers, Michael Caine) 1/2
In the first five minutes of the new Austin Powers movie, a gag is introduced that doesn't really work. It features a bevy of celebrities all appearing in cameo roles, all in good fun. At the sight of some of these movie stars, the Exhibition Plaza audience burst into hearty laughter. I smiled, but I didn't really bust open and laugh. I figured, oh well, I'll find the next joke funny. In set-up after set-up in Goldmember, however, the same thing happened to me over and over. It was like waiting for a slow moving ship to dock. In fact, some of the puns and punchlines are inferior retreads from the first two and really seem forced.
The film, of course, stars the hyper-talented Mike Myers. He reprises his role as the International Man of Mystery, the shagadelic British spy we first met in 1997 (moreso on video than in theatres). Myers is often a hoot in the title role, but, as is the case with the first two films in the series, in Goldmember all of the major laughs come from his delightful arch-enemy Dr. Evil. There's something intrinsically comical about a bald villain who wears a kerchief on his head while in prison. In addition to Dr. Evil, Myers also plays the Scottish heavyweight Fat Bastard, and a new concoction -- Goldmember, a freckled Dutchman whose private parts have been alchemized for posterity.
With a surplus of recurring characters, anyone who isn't Myers has to make due with one or two scenes. This includes Seth Green as Evil's son Scott, Mindy Sterling as Frau Farbissina, Michael York as Basil Exposition, Verne Troyer as Mini-Me, and Robert Wagner as Number Two. Three new additions are Beyonce Knowles as Austin's new love interest Foxxy Cleopatra, an afro-sporting agent from 1975; Michael Caine as Austin's philandering father Nigel; and Fred Savage as Number Three, a character whose sole purpose is to have a giant mole on his face. Knowles, Caine and Savage are all strangely miscast in their roles and each frequently misses his or her comic opportunity to keep pace with Myers.
The story isn't really important, but it has something to do with the launching or detonation of Preparation H, which will destroy the world. Austin has to go back in time to 1975 and then come back to the present to save his kidnapped father and go to Tokyo and infiltrate a farting submarine and give a physician a urine sample and find time to shag a pair of twins. What is really disappointing, though, is the film's conclusion. I won't divulge what happens, but it needlessly tries to unify everyone in an arduous closing sequence. I mean, I don't expect a lot of realism in an Austin Powers film, but they do work better when the characters have their own room to breathe.
There is also a heavy amount of product placement in the film. I usually try not to notice such things, but in this case it was too deliberate to look the other way. Taco Bell. Heineken. Taco Bell. Heineken. Britney Spears. Taco Bell.
I did laugh throughout Goldmember, which focuses primarily on phallic references for its humour, but the first two movies in the series are definitely more enjoyable. In fact, because so many gags end up missing the mark, I'd have to say that National Lampoon's Van Wilder from earlier this year was funnier. Perhaps that's all that needs to be said.
