Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush) 1/2
Over the years, some genres of Hollywood epic have faded in popularity, particularly the pirate movie, which has seen little to no lavish treatment, other than The Goonies or The Princess Bride, and even those only partially feature pirates. With Disney's Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, the grimy, scurvy knaves are at long last front and centre, and the result is a marginally entertaining experience, albeit at times in favour of proudly promoting the infamous Disneyland ride upon which it's based.
Johnny Depp summons the slurs of a thousand sleeping sailors in bringing Captain Jack Sparrow to life. Sparrow is a pirate of ill-repute who one day saves the life of the persnickety governor's daughter, Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley). When Elizabeth's suitor (Jack Davenport) gets all bent out of shape about it, Sparrow is put in jail. This is not the last time he is captured, but, in light of a curious plot point late in the picture, I had to wonder why he would acquiesce as often as he does to such situations, when he has a secret that conceivably would allow him to supercede them on a whim.
A question such as this, however, would involve applying logic to a popcorn movie that already has little time for such frivolities. Take, for example, the fact that the evil pirate Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and his snarling crew of misfits are trying to put an end to a curse that was put on them when they were alive. It basically turned them into living skeletons that can only be seen under direct moonlight. They can manoeuvre about like regular people, and even seem to be susceptible to harm when attacked by humans. Their aim is to retrieve 882(!) Aztec gold pieces and put them all in the same place, as well as requiring the blood of a member of the Turner family to be spilled over the gold pieces. Evidently, doing this will lift the curse and turn the crew into mortals again. It has to be the most convoluted spell ever concocted.
Unfortunately, the outlandish plot outweighs the action sequences, which are fairly accomplished in and of themselves. Pirates of the Caribbean benefits from an abundance of charm and buffoonery, but once questions of mortality come sharply into focus, it's hard to accept the irrelevant swordfights if one of the two sides is immune to dying. In addition, the CGI skeletons continue a string of big budget movies of recent years that look more like computer game graphics than three-dimensional characters. I am beginning to long for the days of puppets and animatronics, because for whatever bizarre reason they did not take me out of the moment as much as these new developments in special effects do.
The cast is a mixed bag. Depp throws himself completely into his role and becomes the glue of the production, but ordinarily consistent performers like Jonathan Pryce as the superfluous father and Orlando Bloom as an Errol Flynn wannabe struggle with the uneven notes of Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio and Jay Wolpert's screenplay. The film is directed by Gore Verbinski, who, mercifully, has bounced back from a previous curse, that of the terrible horror dud The Ring. The lavish setpieces don't supercede the steady pace and buoyant tone of the film.
There is a superior adventure film buried somewhere in here, but it never really leaps out like we hope it will. Instead of treasure maps, peglegs and eyepatches, there are squawking monkeys, white-wigged British soldiers, and surly ghouls. Some of these choices work and some don't. As such, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is the cinematic equivalent of cotton candy. Light and fluffy, it's fun in small doses but I wouldn't want to build a diet out of it.
