The Shadow (Alec Baldwin, Penelope Ann Miller) no gummy bears
Ever since I saw my first episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000, I have been inclined to make sarcastic comments whenever a truly bad movie is inflicted on me. Suffice it to say, I didn't stop talking throughout my viewing of the Shadow, a truly dreadful piece of filmmaking. I tried, God knows I tried, but it was so shockingly bad that I continued watching for the sole purpose of proving to myself that it would surely get better as it went along. Oh, how I was wrong.
The film is based on the radio serial that asked, "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?" but no one stops to ask what chasm existed in the minds of the scriptwriters. Alec Baldwin plays -- get this -- Lamont, a superhero who gets chauffered around in taxi cabs when he?s not doing battle with descendants of Genghis Khan. No wait -- it gets better. He's into mind control tricks and so is the bad guy. This naturally means the Shadow has to fend off an animated possessed dagger. All this and Jonathan Winters too.
The special effects are rancid. The acting is terrible. The dialogue is ham, cheese, and tomato all at once. The plot is sillier than an episode of Full House and to top it all off, the score is almost note-for-note identical to Danny Elfman's Batman suites. I mention this because the Shadow's sets want desperately to be Tim Burton-esque so that viewers will equate it in some way with the earlier mega-smash and forget they are currently watching a vapid piece of dreck.
The usually enjoyable Tim Curry is wasted here as some kind of filler villain. Penelope Ann Miller is atrocious as the blonde damsel. Ian McKellen must have been blackmailed into taking the part of, ironically, a brainwashed victim.
I have written far more than this movie deserves. I patiently sat through it, yes. And that is as much praise as I am willing to afford it. Boo! Boo! Boo! Three boos I say, and no stars.
